i i i

I woke up early this morning. Freak-ishly early. My man woke up around 3:30 a.m. not able to sleep. I think it was because of my sleeping habits of rolling around all night. He trodded up the stairs and went back to sleep in the guest bed. Usually, when this happens I fall right back to sleep, no problem. Not today. Today I laid in bed and thought about all sorts of things, friends, work, that stinking feeling of pain in my back that felt like someone had jabbed a knife in it and was in the process of turning the handle...round..and round...and round...in my kidney area. I got up and took some advil and wondered around. Then I went back to bed. Flopped around. Talked with God...really told Him how I felt. Still didn't fall back to sleep. My back still hurt. Trudged up the stairs, threw the 10 plus pillows that i have for decoration on the guest bed off onto the floor. Made a spot for me and laid down beside M. He never stirred. And I didn't for at least an hour. I felt better. Less lonely. My side hurt less. But, I was still restless. I trudged back down the stairs and got in and flopped around in my bed for a while. Finally, I decided if i was going to hurt and be tired, I might as well go to the gym. So, I did. I had a nice little sweaty workout. Now, I'm checking my emails and thinking it's past time for me to get the kids going for school. But, I'd really like to say to them, "Hey, skip school today. And I'm not going to do any housework. Let's just go the park for a picnic and then to the movies. Wouldn't you rather ride in a canoe today, then take a benchmark test?" Well, I'm going to go wake them up. I know they have to go to school. And I hear the dryer buzzing, ready for the hot laundry to be folded before it wrinkles. Even if it's not the most fun day, I will definately make the most of it. Surviving is not my favorite activity...living is.